95102_RAA_Hasselberger2024_R1_PROOF

Monty Black, Occult Investigator

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?

- Mr. Crowley, by Ozzy Osbourne T errible things lurk unseen in the night. Ghosts haunt remote places, vampires stalk unwitting prey, and werewolves – well, they get a bad rap. Some of my best friends are werewolves and aside from the occasional soiling of the carpet, they are really quite decent fellows. But that’s not where this was headed at all – though seriously, stop lumping werewolves in with monsters. You’re obviously confusing werewolf with wolfman. He’s totally a monster. Anyway, terrible things lurk unseen in the night, but you need not fear. Monty Black, Occult Investigator, has made it his mission to uncover and expose the mysteries of the mysterious. To demystify the mystic. To unravel the… Monty Black is an expert in all things occult, having read the Dresden Files several times and listened to at least a dozen heavy metal albums. If it dwells in the shadows, he will find it and expose it to the light. Or your money back. (Moneyback guarantee void in CT, FL, HI, MA, MN, NJ, NY, OH, RI, UT, and VA) Coffin Floyd, Nightstalker Rocker

The bats have left the bell tower, the victims have been bled, red velvet lines the black box, Bela Lugosi’s dead. - Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus R ock N Roll ain’t dead! Rock N Roll is Undead! Coffin Floyd has been sucking the life out of rock fans since the 1960s, even going so far as to start a feud with Ozzy Ozborne over geeking a bat. Never a front man, never a guitar player, never a drummer, Coffin has toured with the greats as an alternate to the back up in case the band ever needed a stand in. His biggest claim to fame is that he was once on stage with Jimi Hendrix, but it wasn’t to perform. Jimi left his keys on stage and Coffin followed him in the hopes of a late night snack. Despite never appearing on stage, Coffin has been an asset on the road. Process servers, angry ex wives, and stalker fans are no match for Coffin. He enjoys ‘em all.

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