95102_RAA_Hasselberger2024_R1_PROOF

photography. See, there was once a belief among some that the camera would steal your soul if you were photographed. You laugh, but it’s true. Phineas Ogden, a young man of science, sought immortality. With occult research and 19th-century science, he found a way to capture souls in photographs to prolong his life. His victims became shells of their former selves, living empty lives and lacking any true passion. Then one day, Phineas became a victim of his own device, as his soul was ripped from him at the flash of an unseen camera and he perished from rapid aging. But that is not the end of the story for the soul-stealing Phineas Ogden. They say his soul now haunts the space between worlds, manifesting in the ephemeral moment of photographic capture to claim new victims. I hear he’s a silent partner in TMZ. Ook, the Neanderthal Man Let’s take the average cave man at home, listening to his stereo. Sometimes he’d get up, try to do his thing. - Troglodyte (Cave Man) by The Jimmy Castor Bunch B ack when explorer was a job a man could claim, the Arctic was a place of wonder and fascination. Men would band together, bundle up in warm clothes, and head north to freeze to death in search of whatever they thought they would find. Santa’s workshop maybe? Who knows? Well, some managed to survive and others didn’t. But one such explorer found something in the ice that he didn’t expect. Fellow by the name of Archie Longyear thought he would conquer the north and set out to prove himself a man. Deep into the frozen expanse, he made camp one night in an ice cave and started a fire. Well the fire made that cave nice and toasty and even melted some of the ice. Imagine poor Archie’s surprise when out of the ice came a thawed Neanderthal man! Archie never did come back from his trip north, but Ook made his way south. Hunters swear they seen him before. Some mistake him for a sasquatch, but he’s too short and his feet are too small. He’s hairy and mean though. They say he likes music and loves to dance, so best to keep quiet and keep the tunes at home if you don’t want to invite Ook the Neanderthal Man to cut a rug in your camp. Bad Nigel, Harbinger of Misfortune Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we’re in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye. - Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival B ad things follow Bad Nigel. A mild mannered traveling salesman, Bad Nigel rambles from place to place, peddling his wares far and wide, always with a smile on his face and a kind word of greeting. But on his heels rides misfortune. Droughts, floods, spoiled crops, and untimely deaths have all come in the wake of Bad Nigel’s travels. They say if you’ve done

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