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Publisher: Planet X Games Words: Levi Combs, John “Hambone” McGuire, Lawrence Hernandez, Andrew Hind, Joey Royale, Jeremy K. Shuman, Brian Shutter Cover: Miss Lasko-Gross Interior Art: Kevin Colden, Cheese Hasselberger, Lawrence Hernandez, Dave McKenna, Miss Lasko-Gross, Rafer Roberts Art Director: Cheese Hasselberger 8GDWS: Casey Christofferson Bitchin’ Space Camaro: Lawrence Hernandez

Planet X Games products are available at Exalted Funeral www.exaltedfuneral.com Instagram: @it_came_from_beyond_planet_x

Facebook: Planet X Games Twitter: @PlanetXGamesCo

©2023 Planet X Games. All rights reserved. Reproduction without the written permission of the publisher is expressly forbidden. Planet X Games and the Planet X Games logo is a trademark of Planet X Games. All characters, names, places, items, art and text herein are copyrighted by Planet X Games, Inc. The mention of or reference to any company or product in these pages is not a challenge to the trademark or copyright concerned. Product Identity: The following items are hereby identified as Planet X Games LLC’s Product Identity, as defined in the Open Game License version 1.0a, Section 1(e), and are not Open Game Content: product and product line names, logos and identifying marks including trade dress; artifacts; creatures; characters; stories, storylines, plots, thematic elements, dialogue, incidents, language, artwork, symbols, designs, depictions, likenesses, formats, poses, concepts, themes and graphic, photographic and other visual or audio representations; names and descriptions of characters, spells, enchantments, personalities, teams, personas, likenesses and special abilities; places, locations, environments, creatures, equipment, magical or supernatural abilities or effects, logos, symbols, or graphic designs; and any other trademark or registered trademark clearly identified as Product Identity. Previously released Open Game Content is excluded from the above list.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Them Places What Were Damned and Other Forbidden Horrors ............................................4 Vampo’s Chamber of Horrors ............................................7 Toxic Tapes: Reviews from the VHS Bunker .....................12 Count McAbre’s Spooky Files ...........................................13 Captain Drastik’s Custom Caskets ...................................19 The Haberdashery of Horror ..............................................21 The Haunt of Secrets .........................................................23 Hans Olo’s Cabinet of Curiosities ......................................25 The Farm That Drank Blood ..............................................30 Monster Funny Car-a-g0-g0! ..............................................36 Cousin Croaker’s Picks .....................................................38 Damned Books, Cursed Jim-Jams and Other Ill Shit .......39 Loyal Lowlifes: Creepy Palookas & Fiendish Jabronis .....42 Just a Hunch with Quasimodo ..........................................45 The Monster Feeds Again! ................................................47

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The Rev’s Pulpit Monsters are cool. For kids of a certain age, I’m not sure anything was cooler. I’m a monster kid from way back, growing up on a steady diet of midwest creature features, monster comics, Famous Monsters of Filmland, Saturday morning cartoons and Star Wars. Coming from a small town in the south, the landscape for finding that kind of material wasn’t often fertile. In fact, it was

downright hard to find. I haunted the racks of convenience stores looking for issues of Saga of Swamp Thing, out of the way used book stores hoping to get a copy of Weird War Tales and begged my mom to buy me the latest issue of Mad Monsters if one popped up at the local Piggly Wiggly. I watched grainy reruns of Baron Von Crypt’s Shock Theater and hoped to catch a glimpse of Elvira when she drifted through a Coors Light commercial. I listened to Al Lewis (that’s Gran’pa Munster, for the casuals) as he talked about whatever old school monster movie he was getting ready to show, all the while laughing as he puttered around his weird basement laboratory. I’d get super stoked when USA Up All Night would host double and triple features or when I could tune in cable on my tiny bedroom TV just in time to see late night fare like The Hidden or The Hitchhiker series. Man, I loved that stuff. Still do. I guess I just never really stopped thinking monsters were awesome. So that’s what you’re getting here. Not just from me, but a whole cadre of monster-loving, horror-fiend friends who feel like long lost brothers. These fellas GET IT. These are guys I would have traded Garbage Pail Kids with or invited over because TBS had a Godzilla marathon going down on a Sunday afternoon. These are the weirdos who saved up their pennies for Don Post masks and rubber vomit from the Johnson Smith catalog. The art kids scribbling vampires and werewolves into the margins of their Trapper Keeper who grew up to be the kind of guys who endlessly debate the ending of John Carpenter’s The Thing. … but how does this fit into the tabletop roleplaying space? Well, this is one part monster magazine and two parts RPG resource. There’s plenty of stuff in here for you to use in your weird fantasy, horror and modern games. This is an idea machine, allowing you to spin off and extrapolate your own adventurers. Hooks, rumors, NPCs, items, locations, adventures, magic… it's all here! Best of all its gloriously illustrated and easy on the eyes, full of the old school nostalgia that you can both actively use and enjoy reading at the same time. Together I feel like we’ve made something cool and fun that will resonate with other past-their-prime monster kids like us. Maybe other folks too. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed making it! - XXOO, Levi

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Forbidden Horrors “Searchers after horror haunt strange, far places. For them are the catacombs of Ptolemais, and the carven mausolea of the nightmare countries. They climb to the moonlit towers of ruined Rhine castles, and falter down black cobwebbed steps beneath the scattered stones of forgotten cities in Asia. The haunted wood and the desolate mountain are their shrines, and they linger around the sinister monoliths on uninhabited islands.” – H.P. Lovecraft The adventurer’s soul compels them to seek out the desolate and forgotten; the forbidden and taboo. These chilling corners of the world haunted by the supernatural are destinations which compel men to try and understand (and in some cases, harness) their mysteries. Here are six such locales for your weird fantasy roleplaying games: Them Places What Were Damned and Other

The Gallow Cliffs of Topok Originally intended to bring the unrepentant closer to the purities of heaven, the people of this hinterland settlement hang all criminals from gallows high in the mountains. This custom has caused a proliferation of restless spirits and vengeful shades to inhabit the area between sundown and sunrise. Not surprisingly, locals steer far away from the Gallow Cliffs as nightfall approaches. Still, there are those who believe that in order to appease the spirits of the cliffs, travelers should be misled and encouraged to travel there close to night. If these unfortunate souls are taken, the reasoning goes, the locals may escape the wrath of those they have condemned to undeath.

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Thuln, the Damned Utilized as a plague quarantine camp for well over a century, Thuln was later home to a hospital and asylum for the mad. Since its closure (some say abandonment), the lonely island remains uninhabited, save for the souls of the damned that give the isle its name. The vengeful shades of its former inhabitants – be they prisoners, patients, doctors or guards – are said to roam the crumbling ruins, ensuring that any who dare come its shores never leave.

Sefdar, the Burning Vale A once-peaceful, pastoral land full of hard-working folk, big horn sheep and old wife’s tales, Sefdar was transformed into a ghost town following a demonic summoning gone awry. A group of malevolent cultists took root in caverns beneath the vale and lost control of the evil they summoned. One demon begat another and another until the valley was overrun. While this evil was eventually banished by a contingent of powerful heroes, Sefdar’s inhabitants either fled or were destroyed. That taint remains behind today, leaving the town a haunted, ash-covered ruin. Fires have been raging beneath Sefdar for more than 60 winters now, refusing to go out… but no one truly knows if this is just a symptom of the demons’ former presence or if something far more sinister (and recent) is at hand. Staglar’s Tankard Formerly a pagan burial ground (or the site of an abbey abandoned after a plague of madness, if religious screed is to be believed), this inn was founded by the retired mercenary whose name it bears. It is rather plain and simple looking from the outside, constructed of solid timbers covered with peeling whitewash. Nevertheless, it is known as a last resort to caravan

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masters, adventurers and seekers of far-off places as people occasionally disappear here without a trace… even the innkeepers! What happens to them and where they go is unknown, but it is enough to keep most business away. Still, necessity and convenient location as the last dry roof at the edge of the hinterlands sometimes forces travelers to take solace beneath its roof. Rumors swirl of fey magic, dreadful curses, ghostly apparitions, and even predatory cannibals, but none can be truly sure of what is happening here.

Nocht-ul, the Isle of the Manakins First discovered (and then quickly abandoned) by pirates fleeing high seas justice, Nocht-ul has gained a reputation among seafarers as cursed ground. According to the tales, the wizard who once made the island his home went mad after his daughter drowned in one of the nearby canals. Shortly after, he began creating magical constructs to bring his beloved daughter back to life. The wizard is long dead and isle is now littered with the cast-off debris from his years of experimentation. Manakins, dolls and effigies of all sizes hang from the trees, sometimes strung together like ornaments. Those few who have visited (no doubt searching for the wizard’s fabulous array of magical treasures) swear that they watch trespassers intently… and even move when the moon is high in the night sky! The Ghol Catacombs In the district of Ghol, far beneath the streets of Lothernia, a vast ossuary of bones, skulls and ancient human remains spread out beneath the streets like a crack in shattered glass. These catacombs house the remains of an incalculable number of former citizens ranging all ages and social stations. Entrances to these warrens can be found all over the city and even though they are actively guarded by the king’s men, those who work in the shadows still use them as a secret highway. Murder, trafficking, cult rituals and worse occur in the Ghol (a shortened term, used by locals) with rumors of monsters, ancient magic and deadly traps being commonplace. Who can say what else lurks in such a desolate place?

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Many are the horrors that stalk the dark corners of the world… let us open the sarcophagus doors and explore… Vampo ’ s Chamber of Horrors

The Red Phantom Known to some as “Bloody Feet” because of the large, barefoot, gore-soaked tracks it leaves when it manifests, the Red Phantom is a malevolent, phase shifting ghost. It is trapped between the land of the living and the realm of the dead, yet simultaneously existing in both. It exists only to spread pain and despair. For short bursts, the Phantom can manifest fully in either realm but is invisible. It has great strength, delighting in tossing its victims around like a ragdoll. If its true form is somehow revealed, anyone gazing upon the Phantom is driven insane, compelled to strip the flesh away from their feet and leave their own bloody prints behind! Dead Jed While easily passable for a typical zombie, the anomaly known as Dead Jed takes the concept of the restless, walking dead one step further. Jed has been rotting away for decades but curiously never seems to lose any mass. He is slow, shambles awkwardly and moans constantly, but is otherwise mostly harmless. In addition, Jed can recover from nearly any injury or effect. In truth, he may even be indestructible! Some have speculated that Jed is a physical conduit to the realm of undeath and that it is his connection to it that allows his physical form such great feats of resistance. The Waldron Frog A flabby-mouthed, rubbery-skinned mon strosity that shambled out of a local freshwater hooch one day, people in the small southern town of Waldron have been talking about it ever since. Yellow-green in color with two long arms that end in webbed claws dragging along the ground behind it, the creature is a frightful sight. It has been blamed for disappearances across the county for decades

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but some folks surmise that there’s really no monster at all. They claim that murders are being covered up and the Waldron Frog is just an excuse for local law enforcement to write them off. Who knows what the truth may be? The White Thang Many are the old timer tales, campfire stories and backwood legends involving sasquatch-like creatures like bigfoot, sasquatch and the yowie, but none are as suitably named as the White Thang from Jefferson County, Alabama. Local historian Jefferson Clyde says “Most folks ‘round here reckon this thing is just some albino bear, but where’s the damn ole fun in that? Personally, I take me some comfort in imaginin’ a lumberin’, albino ‘squatch hauntin’ the suburbs, tearin’ them fellars with their Patagonia hats and puffy coats limb from limb should they fiddle with their camera too long”. Reports from the most-credible of witnesses describe the White Thang as an 8’ tall humanoid creature with long arms, glowing red eyes and a kangaroo-like tail… but… what does it want? WHAT DOES IT WAAAAAAANT???!!! Owappajod Skunk-Ape Sometimes referred to as the “Florida Big ‘Un” or “Squatchfoot” by locals, this cryptid ape-like creature is alleged to lurk in the forests and swamps of Florida. Synonymous with creatures like the yeti, yowie and bigfoot, locals describe it as a bipedal, slump-backed humanoid well over 7’ tall, with mottled brown hair and curious, almost-human eyes. It is named for its foul odor, which always precedes its coming and is described as being similar to a skunk. The Owappajod Skunk-Ape is a curious but consistent piece of southeastern American folklore, with sightings ranging as far back as when European settlers first arrived in the area. In 1820, rural newspapers reported an “enormous monkey-man” terrorizing fisherman and destroying boats along the shore. Disappearances were attributed to its presence, though search parties turned up nothing when they searched the nearby swamps. The Owappajod tribe of Native Americans believe the creature to be a spirit of the land, hostile to outsiders, and treat it with reverence. Whatever the truth, the Owappajod Skunk-Ape is still said to lurk in those desolate swamps. Locals know to run for their lives should they detect its tell-tale odor, but over-curious visitors and the occasional tourist may not be so lucky! Noodle & Doodle, the 2-Headed Ventriloquist Dummy An infamous vaudeville attraction in the days of the early 20th century, Noodle and Doodle were a wisecracking showstopper that played up

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and down the showbiz route from New York to Chicago. Made famous by the famed ventriloquist Giovani Collazo, the act made a pretty penny until Collazo was found strangled in his dressing room before a show. For years after, the Noodle and Doodle act was sold to one ventriloquist after another and inevitably, they all met their doom in short order (often through unexplainable circumstances or untimely accidents). The tale of Noodle and Doodle fell into showbiz legend. The act was shelved for more than 55 years until the dummy was discovered in a storage unit by promoter Basil Morton, who jumped at the opportunity to revive the notorious Noodle and Doodle act for his comedy management business. In the years since, Noodle and Doodle have continued to change hands, delighting crowds wherever they go. Strange rumors linger around the puppet however, with some claiming the dummy can move and talk all on its own. One fellow performer has even claimed that doom follows the act wherever it goes. Of course, these tales are all part of publicity and promotion…. Right? The Devil of Bottin ’ s Curve A metaphysical creature that exists only in mathematical theory (or at least once that theory is proven), the Devil of Bottin’s Curve is so named for the French professor of mathematics who initially discovered it in 1750. While deep in his research, Edouard Bottin stumbled upon the equation and spent nearly three months proving it. When he did, he unleashed an invisible beast that lurked in the void between our world and some other, dark place. This creature ravaged Bottin, tearing him to shreds in a literal shower of blood and gore. Bottin’s death was ruled a murder and remained unexplained by the Marechausee, though his papers did pass into the possession of the Viete School, where they were suppressed by men much wiser than the deceased Bottin. Nevertheless, the papers were eventually discovered by over-curious students who took it upon themselves to prove the theory. The Devil of Bottin’s Curve was once again unleashed, slaying all in attendance before disappearing without a trace. And so it has transpired over and over again as the years have rolled by, with young, hungry mathematicians trying to solve Bottin’s Curve, eager to prove their worth. The history behind the deaths that have come before are always covered up or dismissed as something else entirely, so the theory lives on. How long before it is once again unleashed? The Dang Ole Thing The town of Fludd, Louisiana was a notoriously insular and unfriendly place for outsiders in the 1860s. Old legends, bootlegging operations and secrets best left forgotten were the rule rather than the exception. There were things sunk to the bottom of the swamp that could ruin a man, if the secret got out. Reverend Cleaster Blevins and his small congregation came to Fludd looking to build a house of worship out on the bayou but asked too many of

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the wrong questions to folks that didn’t appreciate outsiders snooping around. The preacher’s honesty and goodness was his undoing, as he refused to keep quiet about the “devil’s business” he saw all about him. Blevins was strung up on a bald cypress tree and hung, his congregation run off with a warning never to return. Before he met his fate, the reverend cursed the town and declared that the wrath of God would descend upon the town to destroy them all. A week later a freak hurricane fell upon the town and wiped out everything… except the tree where Blevins was hung. After the disaster, locals began disappearing when they strayed too close to the tree and strange sightings of a man in black with a terrible, swollen face became the talk of the parish. Eventually, the people of Fludd paid the creole voodoo queen Marie Laveau a fortune to come to town and banish the evil spirit. The spirit departed for the depths of the swamp, but the town was forever broken afterwards and was abandoned within 15 years. The Dang Ole Thing lurks in the swamps outside of the remnants of Fludd parish to this day… or so it is said. Sometimes folks hear church hymns when it’s close. Others say they see the reflection of an old man with a bloated, purple face in the waters of the swamp. Some folks that get too curious are never seen again. Who knows what lies in wait? The Gunk! Resembling nothing so much as a dark patch of water clumped with rotting vegetation, the Gunk is a lethal and unpredictable phenomenon that seems to appear and then disappear with no rhyme or reason. It is a backwoods tale of caution used to scare children and outsiders, often ending with “If you don’t belong… don’t be long!”. Unfortunately for its victims, the Gunk is all too real. The Gunk has highly adhesive and corrosive properties, and its bizarre biology is clearly not of this world. Touching it is fatal, as it will first grab onto its victim and then pull them into its bulk, where it dissolves all skin and bone. Its physical form is not unlike tar, afloat in the water and reflecting a spectrum of colors… some of which are hues never before seen in this world. It has no visible appendages or sensory organs, and its internal structure is completely unknown. The Gunk lurks in rural ponds, reservoirs and spillways, using these places as a feeding ground for small game in the colder months but stalking swimmers and fisherman in the warmer part of the year. Many disappearances over the years could be attributed to it but the creature dissolves its victims completely, leaving little evidence behind. Furthermore, once the Gunk feeds and has rendered an area devoid of life, it inexplicably vanishes, appearing in another small body of water somewhere else. Is it a supernatural creature from beyond the grave? An alien invader from across space and time? A beast from beyond the veil of what we know to be real? Only the Gunk knows!

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Reviews fRom the VHs Bunker I t has been unknown days since the last bombs fell. As the last remnants of humanity struggle to rebuild a world ravaged by war and destruction, I possess a unique and treasured collection: a bunker full of VHS tapes. Saved from the horrors of the surface world, I have dedicated my post-apocalyptic existence to scouring the ruined wastelands in search of the most obscure, campy, and downright terrifying films ever produced on magnetic tape. Join me on a journey through these toxic tapes, where anything can happen and nothing is off the table. Stay ready, stay safe, and be prepared for a wild ride through the dark corners of VHS history. JOIN US for the premiere viewing of The Video Dead (1987) Direct to video is hit or miss, and fortunately The Video Dead is a massive hit - lots to love on this movie. The cover is epic and a mainstay in all mom-and-pop rental stores. A whole generation of kids can see that VHS box and it still scares them. Iconic in its own right, it was only released a handful of times, fetching a high price among collectors… back before the final war that is. Fortunately, you can watch it online fairly easily, if the internet even exists anymore. Zombie movies! For a good long time, there was an overabundance of zombie movies with the tried and true tropes of the Night of the Living Dead. Then along come some gems that turn the genre on its head and have a fresh premise. A TV that is a gateway for zombies to enter their world! The zombies resemble more of something that would be seen in an Evil Dead over a Romero-style zombie movie. Coming with some of its own zombie rules/lore it makes for a great watch. The gore effects and score are great and the movie has a nice atmosphere to it. All while being a straight-to-video movie! The acting adds to the campy goodness as some would say it is not good, but this adds to its charm. A must-watch for any horror fan who likes things a little bit different and a little bit campy. For fans of: Slime City, Troll 2, Street Trash In the end, The Video Dead is a great way to blow 90 minutes while not fending for your life in this new post-apocalyptic world we all find ourselves in!! This slab has been stamped: TOXIC TAPES APPROVED ! Toxic Tapes :

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Spooky Files! Greetings one and all, and congratulations on your continued attachment to your mortal coil. Enjoy it while you can. I have been told you wish to peek behind the curtain and glimpse what goes bump in the night. Very well. As the foremost curator of curious cases, files of fiendishness, and demonic dossiers, I present to you a selection of my favorites, drawn from... Count McAbre’s

The ChimpMANzee If you could find some way to be a little bit less afraid

of me you’d see the voices that control me from inside my head say I shouldn’t kill you yet. - Skullcrusher Mountain, by Jonathan Coulton I n his secret

laboratory deep in the jungle, Dr.

Eeznapmich conducted genetic experiments on great apes in an attempt to unlock the secrets of their superior strength and agility. Believing he had unlocked the answers, Dr. Eeznapmich injected himself

with an experimental formula that transformed him into a half man, half chimp badass called ChimpMANzee! As ChimpMANzee, he possesses the superior strength, prolific body hair, and unstable aggression of a chimp, with the superior reasoning power and speech of a man. ChimpMANzee quickly returned

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home to celebrate the news, but was greeted with horror at his monstrous sight. With his hopes of a warm welcome dashed, his chimp aggression took over and he went on a rampage before disappearing into the wild. He now haunts the fringes of society, longing for acceptance but angered by rejection. Jack the Knife Now on the sidewalk, sunny morning, lies a body just oozin’ life… - Mack the Knife, by Bobby Dari N ext in our files is a delightfully devilish fellow we call Jack the Knife. Perhaps you’ve heard of Jack the Ripper? Amateur. As dastardly as ol’ J. Rip was, he relied on tools to get the job done. Not so with our own Jack the Knife. Where your run-of-the-mill serial killer relies on finding the right tool for the job, Jack the Knife himself is a tool You see, long ago ol’ Jack worked in a slaughterhouse and he was good at his job. Wasn’t a heifer or porker he couldn’t break down in seconds. From grazin’ to ground beef in under a minute. Well, one night ol’ Jack had himself an unfortunate circumstance that led to his falling headfirst into the meatgrinder, Sweeney style. The other boys on shift managed to pull him free, but not before most of his head had become hotdog filler. Well, the boys felt awful about what had happened, but they had their quotas to meet and Jackieboy was already dead, so they laid his remains in the walk-in cooler til end of shift. What they couldn’t have known was ol’ Jack wasn’t content to stay dead. His will to live was strong enough that he took a deal with the devil to come back. Problem was, he didn’t have a head that wasn’t ground up and on the way to the casing room. Don’t ever accuse the devil of not having a sense of humor. He sent Jack back to his body and fused to it the giant slaughter knife that had been the tool of Jack's mortal trade. Infused with new demonic life and having no mind but that of a slaughter knife, Jack took to what came natural and carved his way through the men working at the slaughterhouse. No one knows what happened to Jack for sure, but he’s still out there, still doing what he does best… Phantom of the Phog And you know that I know that you ain’t got long now to last. Your looks and your feelings are just the remains of your past. - Phantom of the Opera, by Iron Maiden L ook at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh. Every time it makes me remember with delight, the horrors attributed to the Phantom of the Phog. What do the Ghost in the Machine and Oscar Wilde have in common? Both draw from concepts that have existed since the early days of daguerreotype

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photography. See, there was once a belief among some that the camera would steal your soul if you were photographed. You laugh, but it’s true. Phineas Ogden, a young man of science, sought immortality. With occult research and 19th-century science, he found a way to capture souls in photographs to prolong his life. His victims became shells of their former selves, living empty lives and lacking any true passion. Then one day, Phineas became a victim of his own device, as his soul was ripped from him at the flash of an unseen camera and he perished from rapid aging. But that is not the end of the story for the soul-stealing Phineas Ogden. They say his soul now haunts the space between worlds, manifesting in the ephemeral moment of photographic capture to claim new victims. I hear he’s a silent partner in TMZ. Ook, the Neanderthal Man Let’s take the average cave man at home, listening to his stereo. Sometimes he’d get up, try to do his thing. - Troglodyte (Cave Man) by The Jimmy Castor Bunch B ack when explorer was a job a man could claim, the Arctic was a place of wonder and fascination. Men would band together, bundle up in warm clothes, and head north to freeze to death in search of whatever they thought they would find. Santa’s workshop maybe? Who knows? Well, some managed to survive and others didn’t. But one such explorer found something in the ice that he didn’t expect. Fellow by the name of Archie Longyear thought he would conquer the north and set out to prove himself a man. Deep into the frozen expanse, he made camp one night in an ice cave and started a fire. Well the fire made that cave nice and toasty and even melted some of the ice. Imagine poor Archie’s surprise when out of the ice came a thawed Neanderthal man! Archie never did come back from his trip north, but Ook made his way south. Hunters swear they seen him before. Some mistake him for a sasquatch, but he’s too short and his feet are too small. He’s hairy and mean though. They say he likes music and loves to dance, so best to keep quiet and keep the tunes at home if you don’t want to invite Ook the Neanderthal Man to cut a rug in your camp. Bad Nigel, Harbinger of Misfortune Hope you got your things together. Hope you are quite prepared to die. Looks like we’re in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye. - Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival B ad things follow Bad Nigel. A mild mannered traveling salesman, Bad Nigel rambles from place to place, peddling his wares far and wide, always with a smile on his face and a kind word of greeting. But on his heels rides misfortune. Droughts, floods, spoiled crops, and untimely deaths have all come in the wake of Bad Nigel’s travels. They say if you’ve done

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wrong and Bad Nigel visits, you’ll have bad done to you and then some. Some say he’s a horseman of the apocalypse. Others that he’s a force of karmic justice. All I can say for sure is you better have a clean conscience if ever you cross paths with Bad Nigel, or your sins will come back on you with interest. Best see to your soul, son, before Bad Nigel sees to it for you. Father Faust, the Damned Clergyman Love is like a dyin’ ember, and only memories remain. And through the ages, I’ll remember blue eyes crying in the rain. - Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain, by Willie Nelson W hat makes a good man lose his way? The question ain’t a new one, but it’s one worth considering. And how much more hellish might it be when one of the shepherds of the flock sells his soul? Maybe you should ask Father Faust. Once a prominent young preacher with a growing flock, he sold his soul for revenge and the devil burned it out of him. Now they say the shell of him still walks this earth, burning out the souls of the wicked to collect them for his master’s army. He always appears as a youthful and passionate preacher with powerful blue eyes, new to town and ready to shake up the congregation. But the more sinful souls he burns away, the more it takes a toll on his body. Before long, a singed husk with burned out eyes is all that remains, and it’s open season on whatever parishioners are left. They say he only visits congregations ripe for the harvest, but these days who can say what that means? Now say hi to your mama for me. We’ll see ya’ll in church. Dr. Helix, the Mostly-Invisible Man From my heart and from my hand, why don’t people understand my intention? - Weird Science, by Oingo Boingo S CIENCE! The greatest power in the universe! Dr. Helix was a renowned biochemist, obsessed with halting the aging process. His often unethical experiments led to the creation of a questionably sourced serum designed to erase age spots, wrinkles, and fine lines. In his zeal, he tested the serum on himself, applying it to his hands and face. It worked! His age spots disappeared. His wrinkles disappeared. His fine lines disappeared. His face and hands disappeared! Surprised and delighted by his discovery of an invisibility serum, he began to apply the remaining sample to the rest of his body, starting with his head and working his way down. Unfortunately the small sample was only sufficient to cover the upper half of his body, leaving his legs and feet still visible. Dr. Helix will stop at nothing to recreate his serum, no matter the cost, but his mostly invisible state has made shopping for ingredients a bit difficult.

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Groovy Gravy, Murderous Beatnik

I met her on the mountain, there I took her life. I met her on the mountain, stabbed her with my knife. - Tom Dooley, by The Kingston Trio C hill big daddy and focus your audio. This cat’s about to lay down some beat, dig? Groovy Gravy’s this hipster hatchet

who gets his kicks slippin’ squares the ol’ turkey carver. He ain’t no gin mill cowboy wiggin’ out and blowin’ his jets. Nah, he’ll go ape when things is swingin’ and get a big tickle out of stickin’ some cubes. Pigs say he’s bad news, but ain’t no daddy-o in this galaxy ever had him bug ‘em. That’s a lot to noodle out, but don’t get no bright disease and turn stoolie. Groovy Gravy’s got a nose for it and no matter how you haul ass, he’ll catch wind and you won’t make the scene. Best dummy up if you can, cherry tree if you can’t.

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Monty Black, Occult Investigator

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?

- Mr. Crowley, by Ozzy Osbourne T errible things lurk unseen in the night. Ghosts haunt remote places, vampires stalk unwitting prey, and werewolves – well, they get a bad rap. Some of my best friends are werewolves and aside from the occasional soiling of the carpet, they are really quite decent fellows. But that’s not where this was headed at all – though seriously, stop lumping werewolves in with monsters. You’re obviously confusing werewolf with wolfman. He’s totally a monster. Anyway, terrible things lurk unseen in the night, but you need not fear. Monty Black, Occult Investigator, has made it his mission to uncover and expose the mysteries of the mysterious. To demystify the mystic. To unravel the… Monty Black is an expert in all things occult, having read the Dresden Files several times and listened to at least a dozen heavy metal albums. If it dwells in the shadows, he will find it and expose it to the light. Or your money back. (Moneyback guarantee void in CT, FL, HI, MA, MN, NJ, NY, OH, RI, UT, and VA) Coffin Floyd, Nightstalker Rocker

The bats have left the bell tower, the victims have been bled, red velvet lines the black box, Bela Lugosi’s dead. - Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus R ock N Roll ain’t dead! Rock N Roll is Undead! Coffin Floyd has been sucking the life out of rock fans since the 1960s, even going so far as to start a feud with Ozzy Ozborne over geeking a bat. Never a front man, never a guitar player, never a drummer, Coffin has toured with the greats as an alternate to the back up in case the band ever needed a stand in. His biggest claim to fame is that he was once on stage with Jimi Hendrix, but it wasn’t to perform. Jimi left his keys on stage and Coffin followed him in the hopes of a late night snack. Despite never appearing on stage, Coffin has been an asset on the road. Process servers, angry ex wives, and stalker fans are no match for Coffin. He enjoys ‘em all.

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Captain Drastik’s Custom Caskets For

Rest and Restraint - Visit the Showroom for our Latest Models!

The Trojan Corpse This budget bad boy is built to break. Within one week of burial, the reanimated corpse of choice will burst through the boards and begin its ascension to the surface world to do its duty. SURPRISE! The Silver Promise Keep the bad guys out or make sure they stay in. This cool corpse capsule guarantees HANDS OFF from the undead with its silver construction and patented “Blood-Lok” spell seal. This model is celebrated as the catalyst for the recent decline in the transmission of both vampirism and lycanthropy in three local villages.

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The Late Bloomer Attention nature lovers! This funerary box is made from organic material embedded with very special seeds. As the interred body putrefies, the resulting liquid breaks down the coffin and nourishes the seeds into a flourishing array of carnivorous plants and sentient zombie vines. Behold! The circle of life and undeath! The Continental Travel in undisturbed slumber in the first sea-worthy coffin of its kind. For those souls looking to make a claim overseas, the Continental offers comfortable and safe travel in waterproof luxury. Worry about sinkings no more! With a state-of-the-art internal ballast system, the passenger can raise or lower the casket while underwater for concealment and to prevent sinking to abysmal depths. Comes with customizable “papers” to ensure no interference from customs agents. The Glass Pony The Glass Pony is the tried-and-true casket for those looking to fake their death with panache. Our masterful staff of “corpse artists” will create a copy of the customer’s body capable of tricking even the most critical of coroners or lovingest of mothers. Once complete, the copy will be placed in the crystal-clear case for the ensuing traditions and internment. Watch them weep! 20

The Haberdashery of Horror The Haberdashery of The Haberdashery of

Residing within the most violent back alley in town, a cataracted hunchback toils over bolts of velvet and beaver stitching the finest in funerary fashions infused with mysterious magics from beyond the known universe. Behold, The Haberdashery of Horror!

Top Hat of Scurrying This beaver beauty is a lot more than meets the eye. Imbued with a witch’s kiss, a tip of this hat manifests a mischief of ravenous rats to disperse as needed. Resets every midnight. Cough Links For the distinguished poisoner, these ornate shirt cuff fasteners provide both fashion and function. Available in either gold or silver, each piece masterfully conceals a clockwork capable of dispersing a cloud of customizable vapors. The current menu includes: · Blinding Billows · Forgetful Fog · Sleepytime Whisper Each Cough Link holds enough vapor for one use. Mix and match as needed! Refills available.

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Creep Cane Crafted of ebony, crystal, and morbid curiosity. In addition to walking support and beatings, this fancy number can be used to get the inside scoop on what’s going on behind closed doors. With a twist of the handle, a magic charge will transform the stiff stick into a wobbly worm capable of fitting undetected through keyholes and reaching around corners. A lens in the ferrule transmits images into the cane’s crystal knob for remote viewing. Effective in surveillance, blackmail, and general voyeurism. Cape of Distinction Nothing shrieks “class” like a well-tailored cape. Cut in both mid- and full-length varieties, these dark draperies will stop onlookers dead in their tracks. The stunning nature of these capes boosts charisma and gives the wearer advantage when engaging in persuasion or diplomacy. Quite effective in the concealment of “self-protection tools”, as well.

Maniacal Monocle Eye spy… Pure Terror! Look into the soul of a subject to identify their worst fear. Caution: Do not use in the direct vicinity of mirrors as not to invite insanity upon the beholder. Crypt Kickers Footwear that would make Spring Heeled Jack jealous. Cobbled with the needs of the refined tomb thief in mind, these “Chelsea” style boots are embellished with stone-splitting toe caps. Guaranteed to work on marble, granite, and slate up to three times before needing repair.

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The Haunt of Secrets: 1d10 Horror-Themed Rumors to Kickstart Your Latest Horror-Themed Game “You hear about that mess up Barnaby Way? Someone stole the headstone off of Captain Blachard’s grave. Two nights later they found those kids out on the inlet. All cut up. What a damn mess. Still haven’t found the headstone either…” “Folks around here swear there’s devil worshipers up on the mountain. They’ve been saying that crap since the 70s. Just because there’s some old moonshiner caves up there and some kids spray painted a bunch of weird stuff on them doesn’t mean anything. Everyone’s saying that’s where that Milligan kid went missing, but he always was a weird sort anyways.” 1 2

“That dang ole thing came out of the fog. One minute it was there and the next it was gone. I aint never seen nuthin’ like it… eyes as big as headlights and a mouth full of crooked teeth. Had a scream like a scalded bobcat. You couldn’t pay me enough money to go back in them woods.” “We don’t have to talk about it. Anybody would have done what we done… and stop worrying about it! We put her down that well and no one’s ever going to find her. Not as long as y’all can keep your mouths shut that is. You can do that, right?” “Y’all know Bob Watkins? Yeah, Bobby’s daddy. Somethin’ aint right with him. Not since he found that thing down by the swamp and quit his job at the school. He keeps sayin’ things like “the stars are right” and goin’ on’ about a “black goat in the woods with a thousand young”. Never heard nuthin’ like it. Damn shame them folks has fallen on hard times.”

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“You boys keep your voices down. People are looking for me as it is. I swear though… it wasn’t me that put those terrible things in the church… or did that to the pastor. I swear! It wasn’t me!” “My brother swears on a stack of bibles that old man Oglesby has a fortune in gold buried somewhere out back of his cabin. His daddy and his daddy’ daddy had it too… goin’ all the way before the civil war. The Satterwaite boys went lookin’ for it and they found ‘em drowned out in the marsh. Terrible way to die, you ask me.”

“Yep. They canceled the parade. Said something about a gas leak but my cousin’s wife who works for dispatch says different. Said some boys found a bricked up entrance to some old bootleggin’ tunnels out back of Cunningham’s Feed & Farm. Supposed to stretch all the way beneath Crawford and Main. Police dogs won’t go near it.” “When’s the last time you were up by the old Gardner place? My little brother and his friends broke in there but got scared and took off quick. He swore up and down to me that the mirrors hanging up in the ole place show weird reflections and grin back at you… but if I’m being honest, he was probably off huffing paint again. What a dumbass.” ‘My neighbor - bless her heart - swears that her husband’s new toupee is haunted. Says he doesn’t act like himself when he’s wearing it. I know… funny, right? Thing is… he has been acting kind of strange… and I don’t like the way he looks at me from across the yard.”

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The curiosity cabinet of famed explorer, guide and foreign dignitary Sir Hans Olo is filled with all manner of wonders, garnered from his many years exploring the forbidden hinterlands and wild places on the edge of civilization. Often known as “wonder rooms”, these collections of strange and extraordinary objects are Cabinet of Curiosities Hans Olo’s

an attempt to categorize and tell stories about the miraculous wonders and oddities of the natural world. Hans’s collection, in particular, is filled with truly astounding objects surrounded by mystery, speculation and (sometimes) fear! Below are a handful of the many wondrous objects found in the curiosity cabinet of Hans Olo.

The Cursed Hand of Esteban Manos Formerly belonging to the famed Satanist (and suspected warlock) whose name it bears, this severed, gaunt hand is nearly skeletal in appearance save for a lacquered layer of desiccated flesh which covers it. Curious symbols and harsh runes have been tattooed into the flesh near the thumb and run down and onto the wrist, terminating at the point of severance, It is the “left” hand and appears to have belonged to a man of normal size. The hand wears a silver ring inset with a curious, highly polished turquoise stone which is impossible to remove by normal means. When commanded to do so, the hand rises and points in the direction

of the nearest holy ground or place of worship. If the name of someone who has done the wielder some sort of wrong is spoken aloud, the hand floats through the air and unerringly leads the possessor to that person. Finally, possession of the hand provides a small measure of resistance against the spells and attacks from those who serve the forces of light and good.

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If a creature of good alignment attempts to use the cursed hand of esteban manos, it functions as normal. However, as soon as it has a good opportunity (likely when its wielder is sleeping or otherwise not paying attention) it will animate and attack. If it hits a foe, it immediately begins to strangle its neck and cannot be removed short of magical means. It will only loosen its grip if its foe is dead or if the hand is destroyed. If it is destroyed, the hand reconstitutes itself again in a new, random location chosen by the Game Master Sasquatch Bezoar Prized by alchemists and healers across the globe, a sasquatch bezoar is a wondrous rarity seldom seen much less utilized. Essentially, it is an oblong ball of swallowed foreign material (often composed of hair, fibers and other nondigestible bits) that collects in the creature’s intestines and fails to pass through conventional means. Over time, this mass solidifies into a stone like ball which can then be harvested from its sub-human incubator. A sasquatch bezoar can be stewed in a pot of warm water or tea, granting those who drink it an immediate relief from poisons. It can be ground up into a powder that miraculously cures any disease as well. Furthermore, some users of arcane magic believe that wearing one as a charm around th neck provides protection from curses and bad omens! The Ring of J.G. Marvin, the Idaho Giant Former silent movie actor, sideshow performer and circus legend, Jack Gallant Marvin (or simply “J.G.” to his friends) was one of the world’s tallest human beings. He claimed to be 8’ 6” tall and performed under many nom de guerres including “Pecos Jack”, “the Albuquerque Giant” and “Herc’ Jones”. When Marvin and his traveling carnival rolled into town, people gathered elbow-to-elbow in the sawdust to see him perform great feats of strength and tell whatever tall tales he could. After all, Marvin loved nothing more than entertaining rubes who couldn’t wait to part with their money. Aside from his time on the bally stage, Marvin had a lucrative side business hawking promotional, oversized “giant rings” to folks who attended his shows. These souvenirs were cheaply made tin and copper rings stamped with the moniker “J.G. Marvin - The Idaho Giant!” and still exist today in the thousands. Marvin’s original ring, however, is made of silver with pewter inserts, and now graces the famed cabinet of Hans Olo! Rumors about the ring say that wearing it will make you a giant. The truth is far more insidious. Over time, Marvin’s ring asserts a subtle influence over its wearer, making them THINK they are a giant. They become convinced they can perform great feats of strength and that they are actually afflicted with gigantism. No matter what proof is presented to them, they absolutely cannot be convinced otherwise, demanding large amounts of food, ridiculous accommodations and speaking in a booming voice. This curse can be lifted by removing the ring, but it takes some time before it completely wears off.

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The Turquoise Skull of Quetzpal Rumored to be a relic from the Aztec empire of Tulnteclectonil, this polished, head-sized gemstone once sat atop a grand altar at the zenith of that city’s most prominent ziggurat. There, it witnessed more than a century’s worth of magical rituals and human sacrifice, leering down unto those unfortunate victims whose heads soon rolled down the pyramid’s stone steps. When Spanish conquistadors under the command of Hernan Cortes invaded the indigenous culture during the 16th century, they managed to carry away the turquoise skull of quetzpal, only to find out about its curse all too soon. The skull possesses many magical abilities that make it highly prized by those who know the methods to coax its secrets forth. When lies are spoken in its vicinity, it will shout aloud in its native tongue, revealing the truth. Furthermore, if the skull is bathed in fresh human blood, it will answer any one question unerringly and to the best of its knowledge. If one of the skull’s powers is activated but it is not given an offering of fresh blood (a significant amount, up to the Game Master’s discretion) it will begin to magically compel those around it to bicker and fight. At first, this arguing is inconsequential but soon escalates into full tilt violence, filling those affected with murderous rage. More than once, the skull has been found lying on its side in a clearing or alone in a room, surrounded by the butchered bodies of its former possessors.

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Holographic Mold One of the more curious biological oddities in Hans Olo’s cabinet, holographic mold grows only on dead creatures, be it animal, human or monster. The mold is brittle and gray, with a slight bluish undertone to it. If closely inspected, it has an earthy odor with hints at another, subtler smell that just can’t be properly placed. When the mold reaches maturity, its spores create vivid holographic images from the memories of the dead creature it grows upon. The mold can persist for years before eventually falling dormant and subsequently hardening. If the mold is later brought into the presence of a recently deceased creature and left unattended it seems to “awaken” and will slowly spread onto the new corpse. There is some talk among warlocks and practitioners of dark magic that there is a strain of especially virile holographic mold that not only creates images from the dreams of the deceased but brings these facsimiles to life as well! Prismatic Cocoon Believed to come from a nigh-inaccessible region of the Congo, prismatic cocoons were long believed to be objects of pure fiction. When famed explorer Sir Jack Cull returned from his expedition with a clutch of them under his arm, their truth was revealed. In the time since, these few highly prized specimens have made their way into a handful of museums and private collections These shimmering, multi-colored objects are usually no larger than an ostrich egg and have the overall appearance of an insect’s chrysalis. Vibrant colors from across the full spectrum of the rainbow (and a few other, unknown hues, if the rumors are to be believed) play across its surface. The specimen in Hans Olo’s cabinet sits atop a simple brass stand. A prismatic cocoon will likely stay inert for its entire existence. It is only when it is bathed in the light of a full lunar eclipse that its fantastic properties are revealed. The cocoon shudders violently before splitting open, digorging its long-gestating occupant - a mythical creature of tiny size! Each prismatic cocoon contains a different, wholly unique creature and no two are the same.Of the few which have attached in captivity, a tiny winged elephant and a serpent with a beautiful child’s face have been cataloged. What mythical wonder might await within the long-dormant specimen in Hans Olo’s cabinet?

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