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and I’m on friggin’ vacation. I figure I’ll expand my horizons a little.

Just as I turn to leave, three little girls who I take to be sisters come screaming into the bookstore, make a bee-line right for the 21st-century spinner rack, and start frantically grabbing Archie digests in a chaotic attempt to ensure they all get different ones. These girls seemed to be between 7 and 13 or so. I dunno; I’m bad at fig uring the ages of kids. But still. Kids. Fighting to get good comics. That was an observation that warmed the cockles of what’s left of my heart, I assure you. The next day, I had my realization. Certainly not a new one, but as I live on the other side of the country from the rest of my family, this is one that isn’t as immediately obvious to me as it might be to those of you who see your folks more often than Christmas: Me? In my family, I’m the weisenheimer. The guy with a quick quip that makes people laugh when things get tense. If you’re in a bad mood, pick up the phone and call me; I’m the go-to guy. But God forbid if I’m in a serious mood when you call, and don’t feel much like making with the funny, because that can only mean there’s Something Wrong With Me. No, it’s not that I’m expecting an important delivery, or that my cat just died, or any of a million other things that can put you off your feed… There always seems to be a hue and a cry when artists and writers try something different. I remember John Byrne’s Next Men was selling a third of his work on Action … and it was the same guy doing the work. That real ly doesn’t make any sense. If an audience enjoys your work in one thing, chances are pretty high they’ll enjoy it in another. Sure, if you stray too far from what audiences expect, you’ll get a bite in the ass; not many people even know that only five of the last six Julia Roberts movies were $100 mil lion-toppers, because no one knows she did Mary Reilly. But ya gotta hand it to Julia; she at least tried to grow her audience, expand on her craft, and stretch her experiences as a person. But the expectation is there, and it’s the same thing in comics. No matter how much time passes or how many other accomplishments you might make, your family perceives you the same way they always have.

Which brings me to the morning of March 20th, and our category: “Things Larry Would Never Do If He Weren’t in Hawai’i.”

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